Even if I enunciate my name very deliberately over the phone at work, I still get called ‘Steven’ by 50% of people. The other 50% are wondering why I take twice as long to pronounce my name as I should.

I have had pressure put on me to write a Young and Hungry play. I will submit it under the name “Steven Thompson”, just so they know who I am. The idea I’ve had which I like the most is of a group of Shakespearean characters trying to put on a play. It has universally recognisable pre-existing characters, which I like. All of the ideas I’ve had for the story are subversive, which I like. The characters will exist in a world where no one has ever heard of Shakespeare, so in the first scene Hamlet will audition for a play and no one will know who he is. I like that.

I’ve been trying to think of which Shakespearean characters to use. Hamlet seems natural. I’d like either Romeo or Juliet but not both, so I think I’ll go with Juliet. Also I’d like Miranda from The Tempest. And maybe one of the lads from Midsummer Night’s Dream, though I don’t know which one. As a rule of thumb I only want to use characters who have their own Wikipedia page. I also want young characters, though according to his Wikipedia page Hamlet is 30. I’ll pretend I hadn’t noticed that. I always assumed he was about 25.

I’ve just noticed that the theme they’re looking for is ‘flight’. I’m not sure how to shoehorn my play idea into that theme. Vexing. But I still have no idea what kind of play the characters will want to put on within the play, so maybe the theme of that play can be flight… or is that pushing it?