Selling out is okay if you do it ironically. Thursday, Feb 28 2008 

I just noticed that CaféPress works in the same way as Lulu in that they print on demand, except they print clothes and buttons rather than books. Although I just noticed that they also do books. But Lulu is cheaper so I’ll stick with them.

I might as well do some badges or something for Paris Holliday. Not for Pirate Space because I don’t see why anyone would want to wear anything for a book, but Paris will always be wearing clothes and badges of webcomics and webanimations and stuff so I think it wouldn’t be inappropriate for him to have some stuff too. Like a shirt of the webcom he works on but which in itself doesn’t actually exist. They’ll be post-modern ironic self-referential shirts or something that make fun of people who wear those sorts of shirts. People love that kind of thing.


Evolution Of A Cough Tuesday, Feb 26 2008 


Annoyingly, the stuff I got from New World tastes much worse than the stuff I got from the pharmacy.

Paris Holliday. Tuesday, Feb 26 2008 

I’ve been working on my mockumentary thing. I’ve even written a few pages of script. Spooky.

My character’s name so far is Paris Holliday. The title of the mockumentary so far is The Making Of: Paris Holliday. Paris wears a pair of distinctive yellow glasses which I bought from the two dollar shop just now:

yellowglasses.jpg glassesyellow.jpg

Yellow was the only colour I could find where you can still see my eyes. He’ll also wear t-shirts of my favourite webcomics, so probably this one and this one. If anyone wants me to wear, for example, a Brunswick shirt, I’d have one printed if they designed it.

Paris Holliday is essentially me without any sort of self-awareness. So there will be shameless self-parody. Which at least is better than self-important self-promotion.

This is the theory, anyway. Saturday, Feb 23 2008 

I try to allocate my time resources according to a scale of achievableness. I should really allocate all my time to writing because that’s where I know I can get work done in. But I need to do something else to draw attention to what I write, and these something elses tend to provoke a lot of procrastination and a lot less actual doing. Usually there’s a lot of initial enthusiasm followed by rapid loss of enthusiasm.

But if I keep trying, maybe I’ll eventually strike upon some project that’s as easy for me do as writing and also has the viral quality I’m looking for.

My latest idea is a mockumentary of me (or someone very much like me) trying to produce a webcom. What I like about this idea is that I don’t have to make the webcom very good. For DYWTSTU I wanted it to put a lot of effort into the appearance, and I think that’s what slowed me down – my ambition was too great. I wanted it to look cheap, but I still wanted it to look really good.

With a mockumentary it would work better if the look of the webcom was rather naff, and for all the behinds the scenes stuff I’d just wear my ordinary clothes. So all I’d really need to do is write the script and shoot it. This is what I’ll try to do next week, to at least get some shooting done, and if I still can’t get anything accomplished, maybe I should seriously think about Selling Out. I’m not sure what that entails, but it’s usually a useful step towards success.

Now we’re beaming with sine-waves! Tuesday, Feb 19 2008 

I’ve been watching Blakes 7. They’re up to Blakes 5 so far. They’ll never save the universe with Blakes 5. They need to pick up their game!

I just got an email from Lulu advertising their promotions. Apparently if I pay them $50 they’ll attract 100 people to my book. But since I’ve had 140 hits so far and only two books have been sold, I really think I’d be throwing money into a great big black hole of doom. Thanks but no thanks, Lulu. I can make a neat Flash game for free and it’ll be at least 102% as effective.

Dorothy Gambrell-style lolcat.

Pirate Space Tetris? Monday, Feb 18 2008 


From Donation Derby. I think it’s mad that cartoonists should have bad eyesight.

I was talking about Pirate Space asteroids the other day. Since then I’ve decided to make a PS ‘room escape’ game instead. There are hundreds of room escape games already on the internet but there’s always room for more. I think it’ll be fun to think of really evil puzzles. Also it’s probably the easiest possible thing to program in Flash. So that’s all good.

Examples of room escape games. More examples. Technically the first examples aren’t ‘room escape’ games, but I don’t know how else to define the genre. In my game you’ll have to either escape a museum or a book store, I haven’t decided which. A location in the book anyway. It’ll still be unrelated to the actual story but at least it’ll make slightly more sense than Pirate Space asteroids.

Obvious exits are North, South and Dennis. Thursday, Feb 14 2008 

According to this page, Obama has taken the lead. Apparently this is a good thing because if Hillary won, everyone would vote for McCain. And McCain is an old white man.

Whatever happens though, I’m sure the result will be international resentment.

I was wandering around gloomily today. My internet serial seems like a Good Idea that will Never Happen because I’m Hopeless and Undisciplined. If I had set out to do some writing today I would have easily written a couple of thousand words. But since my goal was to work on DYWTSTU I ended up doing very little, other than having lots of ideas that I don’t implement because I’m too busy having lots of ideas. Maybe I should concentrate on projects where I actually get things done.

I’ll try something new instead. I’ll make a Flash computer game. I think there are more people looking for new Flash games than there are people looking for new internet serials. And there are lots of gaming websites dedicated to promoting good Flash games. I could potentially attract the attention of tens of people around the world!

Project #398: The Pirate Space computer game. It will be like Asteroids but with pirate ships. You’ll be able to attach a flamethrower to the front of your ship. And push the space button to jump. And there will be a powerup that makes you teleport a short distance in an emergency. It will be great. And you will shoot treasure chests which explode into coins that sit on the water and spin around until you collect them. Maybe there will be fruit to collect as well. There usually is. And if your crew is happy with you they will periodically upgrade your pirate hat.

Thursday, Feb 14 2008 

I don’t seem to have made as much progress in DYWTSTU as I had anticipated. I can’t figure out how to do the spaceship interiors. Everything I think of is too expensive or too complicated or I don’t like the style. I’ve been trying to think of really cheap and simple ways of suggesting the inside of a spaceship.

My latest idea is to spray stencils onto large sheets of white paper and stick them on my bedroom wall. So I’ll have stencils of things like number pads and laser guns and scanners and little round windows and the words ‘DECK 17’ and I’ll rearrange them on the wall to suggest different locations. It’ll be hyper-naff but at least easy. I’ll compensate for the lack of a set with good dialogue and lighting and acting and costumes and ambient spaceship sound effects and stuff.

Or I might just be reading too much into it. Tuesday, Feb 12 2008 

See, this map is why Dorothy Gambrell is my favourite living female artist. I don’t really know what to say about it. It’s silly. It’s deep. It’s facetious. It’s true. It’s a whimsical. It’s sublime. As far as I can tell, no one else on the planet could do the same thing.

The laundromat and the public library are actual places that an artist might visit. Used mattresses, rice, bad coffee, utility bills and broken lightbulbs are the debris that make up an artist’s daily life. Obscurity, the train to nowhere and the road of false promises are all directions that an artist might go in their career.

All I can think of is that Dorothy dreamed this map and drew it when she woke up, because I have no idea how anyone could consciously think of it.

This road leads to Auschwitz. Saturday, Feb 9 2008 

Today I flew on the back of a dragon to the peak of Mount Fuji and plucked a single rose…

…because my dragon had a really desperate craving for Turkish Delight. The dragon was unable to procure its own delight because people are afraid of a great big dragon.

The dragon needed the Turkish Delight because its body needs a lot of fuel to burn.

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