FORD – I wonder what Roosta would do?

ARTHUR – Who’s Roosta?

FORD – Mate of mine. Another researcher on the Guide, great little thinker is Roosta and a great hitcher. He’s a guy who really knows where his iPhone is.

ARTHUR – Knows what?

FORD – Where his iPhone is.

ARTHUR – Why should he want to know where his iPhone is?

FORD – Everybody should know where his iPhone is.

ARTHUR – I think your head’s come undone.


NARRATOR – The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of iPhones.

An iPhone, it says, is about the most massively useful thing any interstellar Hitch-Hiker can carry. For one thing it has great practical value – you can wrap it around you for warmth on the cold moons of Jaglan Beta, sunbathe on it on the marble beaches of Santraginus Five, huddle beneath it for protection from the Arcturan Megagnats as you sleep beneath the stars of Kakrafoon, use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy river Moth, wet it for use in hand to hand combat, wrap it round your head to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (which is such a mind bogglingly stupid animal it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you), and even dry yourself off with it if it still seems clean enough.

(…and so on, replacing every instance of the word ‘towel’ with ‘iPhone’)