Conan. Sunday, Mar 29 2009 

My girlfriend read the Conan stories recently so I thought I’d borrow the movie from Aro Video and watch it with her. Rewatching it after fifteen years or so I was expecting to find it stupid and pointless, but actually it made me nostalgic for when stupid and pointless movies used to be simple and entertaining.

I was thinking of all the unbearable changes they’d make to the films if they remade them. Everyone would have short hair for a start, probably that short spiky hair style that almost every male has had for the last decade. There would also be designer stubble. Conan would be 18 and full of angst. Probably he would pout and say ‘it’s not fair!’ when the baddies gang up on him. Other times he’d just have an obnoxious smirk all the time. He’d have an annoying excitable sidekick straight out of Buffy the Vampire Slayer who’d make up words (‘wordificate’) all the time. The final act of revenge would be an epic computer generated battle with lots of explosions, rather than Arnie’s understated cutting-off-of-the-head. There would be WAY more dialogue, because what the world really needs is a couple of mismatched barbarians comedically discussing how to get blood stains out of leather. And Conan and the love interest would hate each other on first sight and exchange cutting remarks for three quarters of the film, even though the story isn’t really that much of a romantic comedy.

To summarise, Conan may be dated sword-and-sandal trash, but it’s still much better than UPdated sword-and-sandal trash.

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I’m walking on sunshine. Monday, Mar 9 2009 

Also used as alternate text for the image

Also used as alternate text for the image

“So David, after all you were saying about men writing women unrealistically… you now have a woman flying around in her underwear?”

“There’s a reason for it, I swear! I just… don’t know what it is yet.”

I need to develop a faster way to turn pencil sketches into completed panels. Probably this will involve practice. My working title for this project is ‘Nuclear Vintler’ because the words popped into my head and I liked them.

Neo-misogyny. Friday, Mar 6 2009 

Mr. Nobody and I have been discussing that comic with the women with the magic dresses. I’m not promising anything since Mr. Nobody will only work on the project if they don’t have to work on the project if they don’t want to, and we torrent new TV shows faster than we can watch them, but we’re both generally enthusiastic.

The one thing I’m worried about is the kind of sexist anti-sexism that occurs when men try to write women. It’s a thing I’ve noticed in a lot of in progressive cavemen and it takes various forms:

1) Writing in token ‘realistic’ women who have none of the flaws that the men are allowed to have. Because writing a woman with flaws would be SEXIST! And writing an intelligent woman with a realistic body type is FEMINIST! Although when you refer to your female character as ‘a female’ when all your male characters have actual personalities, you’re betraying your misogyny somewhat. Yes, it’s progressive misogyny, but it’s still misogyny.

2) Writing smart, articulate, intelligent computer-literate, mathematically able women, not because you wish to represent them in a positive manner but because that’s what your ideal woman is like. Coincidentally, your ideal woman will also continue dating you when you’re dating other women and fall for every lame pick-up line. Some men represent their ideal women as thin and large-breasted, some represent their ideal women as intelligent and promiscuous. It’s still basically pornography.

3) Joss Whedon. Just because your women aren’t damsels in distress, just because they’re solving their own problems and often rescuing men in distress, doesn’t mean you’re not heavily objectifying them at the same time. Sheesh.

Anyway. Neo-misogyny: progressive, but not progressed enough. It’s a token effort NOT to appear sexist, but for the wrong reasons and in the wrong way.

Politics, sorry. Monday, Mar 2 2009 

I was hoping that now Obama was in power, the US would sane up. Apparently not. The propaganda has just become more insidious.

I wonder if this information about the rant being preconceived months in advance will become popular and undermine what they’re trying to achieve, or if the mainstream media will just ignore it. Either way, it’ll be interesting to see how it plays out.

I can work with nobody. Monday, Mar 2 2009 

devchenkoe

I spend all my time at work writing comics in my head, but I can’t draw. Then I have this friend called ‘Mr. Nobody’ who likes to draw, but who doesn’t like to write. Then there’s me again, who can scan pencil drawings and fiddle with them endlessly in PhotoShop.

It took us a year to figure out that we could possibly do something with this.

Mr. Nobody doesn’t want credit for their work, but I don’t want it either, so I guess that means I’m collaborating with nobody. As usual.

Mr. Nobody and I are discussing a comic about four women with magic dresses. The women are of varied ethnicity and body shape, unlike the women in any project by Joss Whedon. They also solve their problems without access to a massive talent for martial arts, unlike the women in any project by Joss Whedon.